After The Show
by pbow
Summary: As Jade and Tori are chased around the set by two small boys dressed as mice, they find out that nothing is as they think it is. What will they do?
1. After The Show 1

**Premise** : When show **VicTORIous** is canceled, Jade and Tori find out they are only characters on a TV sit-com. What will they do?

 **Author's note** : If you've read some my other stories here on FanFiction, this may seem a little familiar because I did the same thing with Kim Possible and the gang. But this will take a few different twists and turns from that one.

And of course, here's the ever (not so) needed **Disclaimer** : I don't own any canceled shows, or any current ones for that matter, so I don't receive one single Eurodollar for posting this interesting little fanfic.

Xxxxxx

After the Show

Chapter 1

Xxxxxx

"Rapido, rapido," the floor director called out as Trina Vega, Jade West and Tori Vega, clad in yellow dresses with what appeared to be a large wedge of yellow Swiss cheese around their torsos, were being chased by two small boys dressed in mice costumes and wielding huge prop forks.

Jade, getting fed up with the whole scene being taped for a Spanish language cable station, turned on the boy behind her, snatched the fork from his hands and started chasing him around the entire set, even behind the floor cameras.

As the chaos continued to the sounds of a Mariachi Band, an obese man with messy brown hair walked onto the set and called out, "Cut-cut-cut! That's a wrap!"

Suddenly everyone stopped what they were doing. The Mariachi Band stopped playing, the three girls and two boys stopped running and everyone turned to the fat guy. He laced his fingers together in a praying gesture and sincerely said, _"Aaaand,_ I'm afraid that was the final scene for the series. The show's been canceled." Some of the participants rapidly dispersed, including Trina who quickly scampered off the set, while a half dozen or so stood around and mingled.

Tori quizzically looked at the man and asked, "Show? What show? Are you saying Divertisimo has been canceled?"

Jade carelessly tossed the prop fork off to the side as she walked over and questioned, "Are you saying we don't have to dress in these puke yellow costumes with cheese boobs any more? 'Cause I can get down with that. I _hate_ the color yellow."

"I don't know," Tori teased her frenemy with an evil smile. "I think yellow looks good on you."

Jade angrily snapped back, "Don't start."

"Anyway," the fat guy said, breaking up the pending argument, "The show **Victorious** has been canceled and we don't need you any more, so take off those costumes and get out of here."

"Ah, okay," Tori said as she slipped off the yellow gloves and turning to head toward the dressing room to change into the street clothes she'd worn to the set. Jade followed to do the same.

"Not so fast you two," the fat guy huffed, having a good idea of what the two girls were heading off to do. "You can't change into the stuff you were wearing before. Those are costumes too and I have other actresses who'll need 'em on another show."

Jade angrily stripped off the yellow gloves as she asked, "So you want us to get naked and just walk away? Won't we get arrested for, oh, I don't know... _Public Indecency?"_ She quickly slid the cheese boob part of the costume off over her head because it was uncomfortable and awkward to wear. (And it was _yellow_!)

The fat guy suspiciously glanced around for a second making sure they were alone on the set. Since there were still a few people standing close by, he draped an arm over each of the girl's shoulders and walked them over a few steps for a private conversation. He whispered to them, "You're not suppose to know this but, you're only characters in a TV show. All the things you've done and experienced? Only scripted. Everywhere you've been during the last four years was a set on a stage. None of it was real."

Still puzzled, Tori begged, "What are you saying? That we don't... _Exist?"_

"Not in real life," the obese boy answered. "Look. Didn't it seem strange that you'd be at home one minute then magically appear in school the next; That you don't remember the trip to school? That you'd be sitting at the table in the Asphalt Cafe one second and in Sikowitz's class the next? That you rarely were in any other classroom? You're suppose to be high school students. Why weren't you in any English or Science or, I don't know, Math classes?"

"I... I never really thought about it," Tori said in deep thought, wondering why she couldn't remember ever taking any of the regular classes at Hollywood Arts that are normally required to graduate. She could remember doing a science experiment with moldy food a few years ago with some guy whose name she couldn't even remember, but couldn't even picture Sherwood High School which she was supposedly attending at the time. Tori also remember the science experiment with Cat, using a hamster they'd named Fat Santa, to create electricity. But she didn't remember ever attending any of the classes or even getting the assignment from a teacher. She didn't even remember turning it in.

"It's because you're only _characters_ in a _sit-com,"_ the fat guy bluntly retorted. He let out an irritated, tired breath and continued, "Look. The only things that are real to you are what's been written for you and what you remember: The school's main hallway, Sikowitz's classroom, the Vega's living room, Beck's trailer, Nozu, things like that. You'll be living in those places for the time being in case the show is suddenly renewed or you're needed for a reunion show or something. You'll always stay the same as you are now; You won't age or get hurt at all, and your appearance will never change in case we need you again. Now totally strip out of the costumes and get out of here." He angrily crossed his arms over his too broad chest and impatiently tapped a foot.

"Okay, okay," Jade huffed in annoyance as she knelt down and swiftly undid to straps for her black high heel shoes then slipped them off. She pushed the black nylon stockings down and off, then shimmied out of the yellow, 'cheese hole' dress after unzipping the back. Finally she shed the bra and panties so she was standing there completely nude.

Tori tentatively, cautiously followed suit, still not understanding what exactly was going on but following orders like she _felt_ she should. For some strange reason she couldn't fathom, she knew the fat guy was someone important, like an executive producer or something, and he always told her what to do. But for the life of her, she couldn't remember sever seeing him before.

When she was done taking off all of her clothes, she covered herself as best she could using her arms and hands in strategic places over her body. (The classic ENF pose.)

When both teens were naked, Jade barked in irritation, "Now what are we supposed to do?"

"I really don't care," the obese man huffed as he swiftly gathered up the costumes and walked away. He yelled over his shoulder, "Why don't you just go home or something. I'll get in touch with you if I ever need you again." And with that, he walked off the set.

"How are we supposed to get home?" Tori asked as she glanced around the set and noticed everyone else had suddenly disappeared, which she found to be strange. One minute there were six or seven people on the stage behind them and the next, they were gone; They'd simply vanished.

Feeling a little more at ease because they were alone, Tori slowly dropped her arms to her sides. After all, Jade was a girl, like her, and appeared to be unafraid to stand there in the nude, so why shouldn't she.

Tori was broken out of her thought when Jade answered, "I really don't know. I don't remember driving us here so I don't know if my car is parked outside... Especially if it was only a prop for the show. I don't even remember ever getting in to it, only driving it." She glanced around the set once more before pointing to the stage right curtain where they had entered the set. "Let's just head back stage and see where it leads." She anguished, "Gawd. I don't even remember walking around back stage before we came out onto the set."

The two teens rounded the curtain and suddenly found themselves standing at the Vega's front door. Jade mused, "Well, _that's_ convenient."

"I don't care," Tori whined as she pushed open the door, not even bothering with a key to unlock it. "I just want to lie down for a while. This is all too much to think about." She walked into the living room and flopped onto the couch, burying her head in the throw pillows.

Thinking back, Tori could only remember one time she used her keys on the front door, when she brought her sister Trina home from the dentist.

Jade moved to the kitchen and immediately started a pot of coffee. When it finished brewing, she poured herself a cup, added two spoons-full of sugar and moved back over to where Tori was still prone on the couch. She sat next to Tori's head and said, "You know, we really do need to talk about this."

The svelte teen unburied her head enough to look up at the Goth girl and indignantly begged, "What's there to talk about? We're both naked, sitting in my living room and we've just been told that we don't exist in the real world. What's left to discuss?"

"Oh-hoooo," Jade wickedly laughed. "There's plenty to talk about."

Not thinking of anything else to do, Tori sat up and anxiously asked, "Like what?"

"Well for one thing," Jade started as she set her mug down on the short coffee table in front of the couch and turned to Tori, "did you notice that the set got awfully quiet the minute that guy took us off to the side to talk?"

"Yeah, I noticed that," Tori said sitting up a bit more, becoming interested in where Jade was going with the line of thought. "One minute there were people on the set and the next they were gone. I wonder what happened to them."

"They simply evaporated into thin air," Jade said as a matter of fact.

"What?"

"You've written a few scripts at Hollywood Arts over the years... Well, the TV _seasons_ anyway. Think of the situation we're in as a screenplay or something. Most of the people around us were extras. You know, bit players."

"You mean like the shruggers in class who never say anything," Tori offered, thinking back on the students who merely mumbled and reacted to whatever was going on in Sikowitz's class or the school hallway or the Asphalt Cafe.

"Exactly. They are there when they're needed and disappear when they're not. You were standing with your back to the Mariachi Band when we stripped but I was facing them. They didn't even look up as we took off our clothes, then they suddenly blinked out of existence. Don't you find that interesting?"

"Yeah, yeah," Tori said, sitting up even more. "So what you're saying is that we won't meet any people unless they're involved with what we're doing, and they won't say anything about us being naked unless it's part of a plot line?"

"Exactly."

"That's good to know 'cause I've been thinking about it too," Tori said, getting a bit anxious again as she stood up, walked over to the staircase and started up to the second floor. "I've been going over all the places I can think of and I can't remember ever being in my bedroom. That means it shouldn't exist. Which _also_ means I don't have any clothes in the house." Tori reached the second floor and stopped just beyond the top of the stairs. She immediately turned around and came back down, saying, "Just as I thought. There's nothing up there except a wall blocking the way."

"Oh Gawd," Jade moaned after thinking for a moment about what Tori had just discovered. "All I can remember of _my_ house is the one corner in my bedroom with the burgundy chair where I did all my Slap videos. I don't have a bed." Her demeanor brightened a bit as she added, "But I guess that's okay since I don't remember ever going to sleep or waking up."

"Okay," Tori said as she sat down on the couch next to Jade. "Let recap what we know so far. We don't exist in the real world except on television, and probably DVDs by now. We live in our own little... _realm_ which only consists of this room, parts of the school and a few other places."

Jade took up the list, "We don't sleep at all and rarely eat." At Tori's quizzical stare, she explained, "I only remember eating during lunch at the Asphalt Cafe or one of the restaurants we visited, and then only a bite or two which really wasn't enough to fill me up and didn't have any taste to it at all." She picked up her coffee mug from the table, took a sip and let out with a content sigh before saying, "Though I can taste this coffee for some reason."

"Coffee aside, you're right," Tori nodded in agreement. "I remember only having the occasional bite of a sushi roll or slice of pizza or salad or something, so we really don't need to eat or sleep." Another thought suddenly crossed her mind. "Oh. I also don't remember ever taking a shower or using the toilet. I remember drying my hair when Trina was reminded about getting her wisdom teeth out, but I don't remember washing it, so bodily functions aren't really an issue... Though we both really _sweated_ a lot that one time when we went to the beach and got trapped in Beck's RV. That's the only bodily function I can think of that's happened."

" _Don't_ mention that," Jade growled at her friend. Well, she had said earlier at the studio that Tori _wasn't_ her friend when Trina introduced them to the Floor Director, but since they seemed to be the only two around right now and there wouldn't be any rivalry between them for parts in plays and such...

"Yeah, sorry," Tori nervously giggled her apology. She playfully teased, "I know you don't sweat, _ever."_

"Anyway," Jade said as she got up and went over to the laptop on the dividing wall between the kitchen and the piano and started rapidly typing. "Since we're only characters in a TV show and our bodies won't change or get damaged at all, I think we can have a little fun." She finished typing and turned to Tori with a smug smile.

"What are you suggest..." Tori began before she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Frustrated by the interruption, she groaned, "Oh. Who could that be?"

Not thinking about her nudity anymore because it really didn't matter much, Tori angrily stomped over to the front door and flung it open finding four very naked, buff, well-hung young men standing there with liquor bottles in their hands. She quizzically turned to Jade and asked, "What's going on?"

Jade arrogantly sauntered over while calling out, "Come on in boys and let's get the party started." She wrapped one arm around one of the hunks as the four walked in while taking the whiskey bottle out of his hand and took a swig. After letting out a satisfied 'Aaaah," she turned to Tori and explained, "Since we're only TV characters and our bodies won't change unless the storyline sez so, it means we'll never get drunk or pregnant unless it's scripted. So I _wrote_ a little script of us having a orgy."

Understanding what Jade was saying, Tori beamed a dazzling smile as she swiftly dashed over to the men, grabbed a bottle of her own and snuggled into one of the guy's embraces while taking a deep swallow.

Xxxxxx

 **Three Hours Later**

"Gawd, that was fun," Tori enthused as she slumped in her seat on the couch after the four guys had simply disappeared as they were walking out the door. Jade was lying prone on the other section of sofa, idly swim-kicking her legs while lazily drawing circles with her finger on the carpet. The svelte brunette giggled before adding, "And I don't feel drunk at all, even after downing a whole bottle of..." she leaned forward, snatched the empty quart bottle off the floor and brought it to her face to read it, "...Highland Single Malt Scotch. I mean I feel a little buzz, but I'm not drunk. I should be, but I'm not."

"Shut up, Tori," Jade angrily growled at her friend's running off at the mouth. "Just lay back and enjoy."

"Right. Sorry. I'm just a little giddy from all the booze and sex."

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Jade idly queried, "I wonder what all of our friends are doing right now?"

Tori looked up and suddenly noticed something on the coffee table in front of her that shouldn't be there: her PearPhone. Considering it was supposedly a prop for the show, it should've vanished along with her clothes and other things.

But it was conveniently sitting there.

As she leaned forward to reach for it, she accidentally knocked the empty Scotch bottle off the couch. But before it hit the floor, she watched it vanish into thin air. Shrugging the no-longer-needed bottle off, Tori grabbed her phone and said, "Let's find out," and speed-dialed a number.

"Hey Tori," the always bubbly pert voice answered after only one ring.

"Hey Cat."

"What'cha doing?"

Tori put the cell on speaker-phone and said, "Oh, I'm just hanging out at my house with Jade."

The raven-haired Goth teen sat up as she called out, "Hey Cat. What are you up to?"

"Oh. Hey Jade. I'm at my Nona's apartment hanging out with my new roommate. I met her in a garbage truck."

"A... _garbage_ truck?" Tori laughed, remembering all the times something whacky had happened to her petite friend and wondering what Cat had gotten herself into this time.

"Oh yeah," the high-pitched voice returned. "But it was no big deal. Anyway, Sam's my new roommate. You probably remember her from the party at Kenan's house."

Jade moved over to sit next to Tori and, remembering the party, asked, "Do you mean Sam, that blonde chick from iCarly?"

"That's her," Cat answered. "She's in the bathroom right now trying to get all the garbage off of her, but we're talking about starting a babysitting service."

Tori looked over to Jade and whispered, "Those two taking care of little kids? That aughta be something to watch."

Cat cut in before either of the two teens could say anything more. "Anyway, I'll be extremely busy from now on so I won't be able to hang out with you after school any more. I hope you understand."

Tori laughed again at the thought of it as she said, "No, that's okay Cat. Just have fun."

"Kay-Kay."

As soon as Tori pushed the end-call button, the PearPhone vanished from her hand, startling the two teens. Tori looked in astonishment at her empty hand and yelled, "What the... I was gonna try to call Beck next."

Taken aback by the disappearing phone for only a second or two, Jade quickly regained her whits and said, "That's okay. We'll just head over to his trailer and see him in person."

The two girls got up and, as they exited the front door, found themselves standing in the Oliver's driveway, right in front of Beck's RV trailer.

Xxxxxx

Stay tuned for part two, coming soon to a computer near you. (And if you hadn't guessed, the fat guy at the beginning who talked to Jade and Tori was actually Dan... um... Dan Schnei... something-or-other.)

But before you get up to get something to drink, how about an interesting little bit of trivia from a different show that I just ran across?

As you may know, Lawrence Fletcher, the father of **Phineas and Ferb** ( and Candice) is voiced by the British actor Richard O'Brien. But what you may _not_ know is that Mr. O'Brien was the man who _wrote_ the original stage production **Rocky Horror** , and played Riff Raff in the movie version, **Rocky Horror Picture Show**.

Can you imagine the stodgy, straight-laced Lawrence Fletcher doing **The Time Warp**? _It's just a jump to the left, then take a step to the riiiiiiight!_

I find that fascinating.


	2. After The Show 2

Disclaimer (again): I don't, _twice._ Don't own and don't get paid. Yippee!

Xxxxxx

After the Show

Chapter 2

Xxxxxx

 **In our last episode:**

 _As soon as Tori pushed the end-call button, the PearPhone vanished from her hand, startling the two teens. Tori looked in astonishment at her empty hand and yelled, "What the... I was gonna try to call Beck."_

 _Taken aback by the disappearing phone for only a second or two, Jade quickly regained her whits and said, "That's okay. We'll just head over to his trailer and see him in person."_

 _The two girls got up and, as they exited the front door, found themselves standing in the Oliver's driveway, right in front of Beck's RV trailer._

Xxxxxx

 **We continue now with the _stoooory_ of _Toooori_ ** (Hey, that rhymes!) **and Jade as they wend their way through TV's Outland:**

"That really is a convenient way to get around," Jade jested as she moved to the metal door of the trailer and knocked. When they didn't get any answer, Tori walked over to look in one of the windows as Jade knocked again and called out, "Beck."

"Um, I don't think he'll be able to come to the door," Tori called over as she intently peered in the window. She walked back over to the door and tried it, finding it unlocked.

"What do you mean?" Jade begged.

"See for yourself," Tori said as she swung open the door and enter the trailer without any hesitation.

Jade and Tori could clearly see there was something strange going on, or _not_ going on, as they entered. A fully naked Beck was standing next to the open refrigerator door of the trailer, a can of Peppy Cola in one hand and a glass filled with ice in the other, pouring the drink. That wasn't the strange thing, though.

Beck and the liquid were frozen in mid pour. It was like he was stuck in a freeze-frame.

"Well _that_ bizarre," Jade marveled as she went over and waved a hand in front of her ex-boyfriend's face, getting no reaction at all. She poked the stream of soda with a finger and found it was solid.

"What do you think is going on?" Tori questioned in confusion as she jabbed a finger against Beck's cheek and found it as hard as a rock.

"I can only guess," Jade said as she went over to the kitchen counter and started to rummage around in one of the cabinets. "I _think_ Beck wasn't considered a main character on our show, so he's being kept in some kind of stasis until he's needed again."

Tori shook her head to clear it while saying, "I don't get what you mean. Why is Beck only a secondary character? He was part of our main group of friends."

Jade found what she was searching for and pulled a brown paper grocery bag out of the cupboard, looking inside it. "Listen. You were the main focus of most everything I remember happening on our show. That makes _you_ the main character. Right?"

"Okay, I can see that; Especially since that fat guy said the name of our show was Victorious, an obvious take on my name. But what about you? Why aren't you in stasis, too?"

"While you were the main _protagonist,_ I was the main _antagonist;_ The one who caused you a lot of grief."

"Okay," Tori tentative said as she mulled over Jade's point. She could agree with all of what Jade had said. "Soooo, that's probably why my PearPhone disappeared and weren't allowed to call Beck or André. They weren't deeply involved with all the stuff that happened to me so they'd be considered secondary characters. But what about Cat? She wasn't involved that much either. Shouldn't she be frozen like Beck?"

Jade unplugged a small appliance on the counter and picked it and the bag up as she ventured, "I would guess since she's living with that Sam girl from Seattle, who was probably only a character in a sit-com too, that Cat and Sam may just have their own spinoff show. That's why Cat isn't frozen in place. And that may be why we're still alive and kicking, so that we can occasionally interact with Cat on her new show."

"You know," Tori said as she followed a ladened down Jade out of the trailer door and they immediately ended up on her front doorstep, "that makes perfect sense. But why are you taking that stuff? Won't Beck miss it if he's ever needed to interact with Cat, or if we're renewed or something?"

Jade stopped at the Vega's door and waited for Tori to open it for her before entering, while saying, "I doubt if he'll miss it. This is my one cup coffee maker and fixings that I stashed at his place while we were dating. I just never had the chance to get it back after we split the second time."

Tori watched as Jade walked over to the kitchen and started to set up the machine on the counter. She curiously begged, "Aren't you gonna take that home with you when you leave?"

Jade starts to brew a cup of coffee as she angrily replies, "Of course not. You've seen my bedroom on The Slap. It consists of a coupla paintings and butterfly collections on the walls, one shelf with specimen jars, a bookcase with a few pairs of shoes and candles stored on it and one small end table with a lamp next to my burgundy arm chair. There's no bed, no clothes closet or chest of drawers. What would I do there? Post stuff on my Slap page, which doesn't really exist? The website was part of the show. The alternative is to wander around the Black Box or the coupla hallways and rooms we know of at school, or live in Beck's trailer with his statue."

"Oh yeah. I see your point," Tori sheepishly groaned in admission. "So, I guess you wanna stay here for the company."

Jade let out a tired breath trying to ease her anger before answering, "Yeah. We _should_ be able to get along better now that we aren't competing for lead roles in school plays... which you _always_ seem to get." She let out another breath, dissipating her anger further and ceded, "But I guess that wasn't really your fault. That's just the way the show was written."

"Yeah. Even though it wasn't my doing, I'm sorry you didn't get more starring roles to play."

"Whatever," Jade sniped as she fixed her cup of coffee the way she liked it, with two heaping tablespoons of sugar. She took a quick sip before asking, "Anyway, what do you wanna do now?"

"Well," Tori thought it over for a quick seconds. "We could head over to some of the places we know of, like Karaoke Dokie or Nozu. We could sing at the club and I remember making a mean sushi ball once for my ex, Steven."

Jade blew off both ideas, saying, "They're both so cliché, so let's hold off on those unless we're desperate for something to do."

"Well," Tori thought for another moment as she glanced around before saying, "we could sit around the pool out back. I know it's there. I can see it through the window." She pointed out the kitchen window above the sink and, sure enough, the kidney shaped pool could clearly be seen.

"You know I sunburn easily," Jade huffed in irritation.

"I don't think you will," Tori smugly replied. "If we're not supposed to age or get hurt at all, then the sun shouldn't affect you now."

Realizing what her friend was saying, Jade's faced brightened. "Hey, you're right. I can finally go outside and not worry about getting sunburned since my body can never change from the way it currently is unless it's in a script."

"And we're already dressed for the pool, too," Tori cheerfully joked, pointing out that they were both still naked and wouldn't have to change into a swimsuit, which they didn't own anymore, or get their clothes wet in the pool.

"Okay," Jade said as she started walking towards the front door after first typing something into Tori's laptop. "I'll meet you out there in a minute. I just need to get something from my school locker, first."

"What?"

"My PearBook."

Xxxxxx

Tori and Jade had been out by the pool for close to two hours now and the Goth girl's skin was still a pale white, leading both of them to agree that Tori's supposition had been correct.

While Tori had jumped in the water a few time to splash around and swim a few laps in the kidney shaped pool while spending the rest of the time basking in the Sun, Jade had quietly sat there typing away on her computer the whole time. She'd occasionally grunt in aggravation and erase something she'd written, but otherwise she silently went about with her work.

As Tori got out of the pool and was instantly dry, and neither of them could fathom exactly why that happened ever time, She asked, _"What_ are you doing? You're so intense I'd have to guess that you're writing a new Broadway play that you'll star in."

"That's an idea," Jade chuckled, "but no. I've been writing a few scenarios for the both of us to keep ourselves occupied for a while."

Curious, Tori walked behind Jade and leaned in to see what all she had written. Before she could read one word, Jade slammed the PearBook closed, stood from the lounge chair and headed for the house, saying, "Come on. We got placed to go and things to do."

As the two stepped into the house through the patio doors, they immediately found themselves outside again in the pit area of what appeared to be some kind of vast meandering race track.

Tori incredulously begged, "You're kidding me. You want to race?"

"Why not?" Jade answered. "Paul Newman was a professional race car driver for close to thirty-five years after he made the movie **Winning** , even while he was still doing movies. And besides, you know I like to drive fast."

"Well alright," Tori happily chimed as she and Jade nakedly went to separate Le Mans type racing cars and shimmied into the tight cockpits without donning flame retardant suits or helmets first. (Or strapping themselves in with the five-point harnesses, either.) After a quick tutorial from the pit crew, especially needed by Tori since she still didn't have her driver's license, they pulled out of the pit and paused at the starting line.

After revving the engines a few times, the Starter dropped the green flag and they were off, smoke billowing from the spinning tires as they burned rubber.

Jade immediately took the lead on the meandering oval track, going into the turns low then exiting high like she knew she should. Tori on the other hand was all over the track trying to get used to the high-powered vehicle. She'd spun out once onto the grassy infield and was swiftly able to return to the track, but it was a lost cause. She would never be able to catch up with Jade who was driving like a professional.

After only ten laps of the track, it was decided between the two that Jade had won. (By almost a full lap, so Jade had ended the race early since she was getting extremely bored with the whole thing.)

Jade was already out of the car when Tori pulled into the pit. But unlike the disappointed girl she thought she would see, the svelte brunette practically hopped out of the race car and started doing a jig, arms triumphantly waving in the air.

After a minute, Tori ran over to Jade, wrapped the raven-haired Goth in a big hug and yelled, "Did you see that? I did it. I raced and came in second."

Jade forcefully extricated herself from the embrace and retorted, "Of course you came in _second._ There were only the _two_ of us out there to begin with."

Tori only laughed and countered, "Yeah, but I spun out and kept going. You've had a lot more driving time than I've had so of course I knew you'd beat me. But I drove an _actual car_ and completed the race. I'm happy with that."

The two teen made their way out of the pit area though a tunnel under the track. When they emerged, Tori found herself on another race track of sorts. The only difference from the last one was that this was one long straightaway. She turned to Jade and incredulously begged, "You want to race _again?"_

"Yeah, but just for today," Jade said as she walked over to what appeared to be a slightly modified Camero with a huge blower sticking out of the hood. Just how Tori knew that big scoop thingy sticking out of the middle of the engine block was called a blower, she wasn't sure. But she figured it was something like being able to drive the La Mans race car fairly well with only a little tutoring and absolutely no experience with a stick shift.

Tori smiled as she caught up to Jade and said, "Okay, I get 'cha. After that last race, to quote a famous movie, 'I feel the need, for speed'."

Jade, catching the Tom Cruise reference, let out with a light laugh, "You know, that's another great idea. I never thought about flying a jet fighter but that just might be fun; Especially if we could do some attack runs on a target range or enemy stronghold and blow stuff up."

"Oh great," Tori playfully mocked herself. "Now I'm giving you ideas on how to be _more_ destructive than you usually are. What are you gonna do? Fire scissor bombs at them?"

"Nah, but don't think too much about destroying other things right now," Jade said as she climbed into the Camero through the driver's side window since she knew the door was welded shut for safety reasons, "we'll probably wreck a few cars here today. This is one of the _least_ safe sports in the world. There's always some kinda crash happening in drag racing."

And Jade was right.

They'd decided that they should do their first run solo, and that Jade should go first. After lining her car up for the quarter mile run, Jade accelerated fast enough at the green light to pull a wheelie for over one hundred feet. When the front end touched down again the car wasn't on a straight course and she over corrected, sending it headlong into the wall on the other side of the track after fish-tailing a few times. The collision somehow disconnected the fire suppression system causing it to fail, and when the fuel started leaking onto the hot engine, well... It was quite a spectacular explosion and fireball.

Otherwise unaffected, Jade closely examined her hair as she nakedly walked back over to Tori, muttering something about charring the ends and now she'd need to get it trimmed to make it look nice again. After saying that, Jade watched the singed hair magically repair itself.

Tori was able to complete her initial run with what was designated a super street car, but her finish time wasn't all that fast. After watching Jade crash and burn, Tori had become a bit pensive despite the fact that she knew she couldn't get injured. She knew her body would remain the same as it had been through the four seasons of the show unless it was scripted otherwise, but she was still worried. (Thinking back on it, Tori remembered breaking both of her arms at The Gorilla Club, but then they were perfectly fine a week later. Whereas she knew it would normally take six to eight weeks and a ton of therapy to fully heal in the real world.)

Jade and Tori moved up to two funny cars next and it was Tori who crashed this time. She ran a fairly fast quarter mile but when she popped her drag chute and started to slow down after the finish line, one of her tires blew out sending the car spinning out of control and ended in a rollover crash.

Of course she walked away without a scratch... Or singed hair, much to Jade's disappointment.

They moved on to super stock, then dragsters, and had a good time racing against one another, but they decided to end it there. Neither desired to try out the motorcycles. They didn't want to get bugs in their teeth since they were driving without helmets the whole time.( Both knew that couldn't happen since it wasn't scripted, but didn't want to take the chance and eat a few bugs.)

Tori and Jade walked in to the Vega's living room and laid down on the couches. Both wanted to continue with their adventures, not being tired at all, but they wanted to save the naked skydiving, cliff jumping, hang gliding and bungee jumping for another day. (And one of them had to write a script for the F-16 attack runs.)

Since Jade was the better writer, they'd decided she would be the one to continue writing scripts for things to keep them occupied. That left Tori free to surf the web to see if she could find more stuff for them to do.

After a half hour trolling the web, Tori sat up and called out, "Um, Jade? You gotta see this."

The Goth girl moved over next to Tori and begged, "What'cha got?"

"Welllll," the half-Latina tentative replied as she place the computer between them on their adjoined legs so both could view the screen at the same time, "I somehow found this website from the real world where people can write their own stories using us as characters. They're called fan fictions."

"Cool," Jade enthused as she scrolled down a page listing the different stories for their show.

"Yeah but, there's a lot of stories here that have us self-harming ourselves. You know, cutting and stuff. Don't you find that kinda strange? Kinda... Emo?"

"That _is_ strange," Jade said as she quickly perused one of the stories. "I would think our lives wouldn't interest the Emo crowd. They're usually so dark and moody."

Tori let Jade continue to read as she said, "But that's not the strangest thing. Most of the self-harm stories have Cat as the one cutting herself."

"You're kidding me," Jade laughed as she backed out of the story and began reading the descriptions of other ones. "Sweet innocent little Cat, cutting herself? That's about as likely as me and Sinjin falling deeply in love and doing the nasty."

"Yeah, well..."

"What?" Jade practically exploded in disbelief.

Tori took the computer onto her lap and backed out of the page as she said, "I haven't gone through all of the fourteen thousand or so stories yet, but I found one where it happens." She stopped on the story and shoved the laptop onto Jade's lap.

"You're kidding me," Jade marveled in wonder as she started to read the fan fiction of her and the freaky boy falling in love. After a minute she lightly laughed and said as she continued to read, "That's sick! These guys are so messed up in the head they shouldn't be allowed write. They should all be taken out and run over with a steamroller or something."

As Jade continued to read the different stories, Tori laid back and stared off into nothing as she idly pondered, "Have you ever wondered where the show's writers came up with our names?"

Intrigued, Jade looked over to her cohort and answered, "No, not really. Why?"

"I was just thinking. Your name is Jade _West_ so maybe you were modeled after _Mae_ West, the actress. I mean she had _blonde_ hair, but you're both outgoing, sassy confident ladies. Your attitudes are similar and you both love acting and writing."

"I see your point," Jade nodded in agreement as she set the laptop aside. "But what about you? Where did they come up with the name Tori Vega?"

Tori wrinkled her brow in concentration and muttered, "That, I haven't figured out just yet."

"Maybe," Jade ventured as she got up and went to the kitchen for a much needed cup of coffee, "you're name is a combination of two different people, like they combined Tori Amos and Suzanne Vega. Amos is a pop singer and Vega is a folk-style singer."

"Yeah, yeah," Tori said, sitting up in realization. "I can see being named after Suzanne Vega. She was nicknamed the 'Mother of the MP3' because they used her music during the initial tests. Being named after her is like a tribute to her or something."

Jade came back over to the couches and sat down, adding, "And Tori Amos plays the piano like you do and has long hair like yours, except her's is a fiery red, like Cat's." Jade's wicked personality came out as she also suggested, _"O_ _r,_ you could be named after the star Vega, which is the second brightest star in our hemisphere... Just like you were the _second_ brightest star on the show."

"Ha,ha. Very funny," the svelte brunette mock-giggled. She knew her friend was only teasing and that the jest was only her TV personality coming out.

"And speaking of stars, what about Counselor Troi from the Star Trek series?" Tori threw out. "The names Troi and Tori use the same letters, and Troi is a takeoff of Troy, the ancient city when Helen was from. She was the beauty woman whose face launched a thousand ships."

Jade playfully scoffed, "Now you're just grasping at straws."

Suddenly, Tori hunched over her computer sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa and started typing. Jade asked, "What are you coming up with now?"

Not looking up from her rapid typing, Tori answered, "I don't know. I just suddenly want to go to sleep for some reason right now, so I'm writing that I go up to my bedroom for a nap. I'm describing my bedroom." She finished with a flourish, stood up and headed for the staircase.

"Actually, a nap sounds like a good idea right about now," Jade smirked, following the brunette up the stairs. "Mind if I join you... In bed?"

Tori had a fairly good idea what Jade was implying and audaciously begged, "So you found some of the stories where we became friends and lovers, too?"

"I noticed a few," Jade chuckled as she reached up and lovingly caressed her hand over the other girls naked butt and between her legs.

Tori squealed in delight and sassed over her shoulder, quoting a famous old Dustin Hoffman movie, "Why Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

Jade, again catching the reference, answered, "Why yes. Yes I am, Benjamin."

The two girls swiftly ascended the stairs and found Tori's bedroom exactly like she'd described it in the short drabble she'd written. There was a king sized bed with jet black, comfortable looking silk sheets and bed spread, and the full-sized bar next to it appeared to be fully stocked. The lights were low and there was some very sexy saxophone music playing softly in the background.

"I'm not sure," Jade laughed as she walked over to the bar, grabbed a glass and filled it with some ice from the ice cube dispenser in the refrigerator door, "But I think _you're_ trying to seduce _me_ with what you came up with."

"Maaaaaybe," Tori cooed as she grabbed a bottle of Single Malt from the bar and sexily slinked back onto the bed with lust in her eyes. She took a quick sip from the bottle before purring, "Maybe driving all those _hot_ , _fast_ cars got my engine revving."

Jade took a sip from her glass as she slowly sashayed over to the huge bed. She set the glass down on the nightstand and, as she crawled into bed, asked, "Why do you think I like to drive fast?"

Tori smirked as Jade lays down beside her and questioned, "Do you know what else I found in those fan fiction stories that I found interesting?"

Jade sexily growls, "You wanna talk about fan fiction when I'm about to kiss you?"

Tori licks her lips lasciviously and replies, "You see, that's the thing. Some of the writers seem to think you can't breath through your nose when your lips are otherwise engaged in kissing, so the two people who are kissing have to break apart for air after a minute or two."

"The idiots probably haven't kissed anyone in their short pathetic lives," Jade chuckled as she pulled closer to Tori. A sly, almost evil smirk arose as she asked, "Wanna prove them wrong?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Tori murmured as she swiftly closed the distance between their lips.

Xxxxxx

Author's Note: And, I'm going to end the chapter here. I'll just let them have their fun uninterrupted.


	3. After The Show 3

Disclaimer: Since very little money is coming in for the show, only a few pennies for each DVD that's sold, (and that's probably gobbled up by keeping the copyright up to date) I don't _want_ to own the show **Victorious**.

Xxxxxx

After the Show

Chapter 3

Xxxxxx

The sexy sax music was still playing in the background as Jade West and Tori Vega slowly awoke in the half Latina's new bed after making love for over an hour, then taking a long nap. After disentangling herself from the svelte teen and standing up, Jade grabbed her glass of booze from the nightstand and joked, "I guess this room is thoroughly christened."

"It most certainly is," Tori giggled as she rolled out of bed and snatched up her bottle of Single Malt. She took a swig and swallowed before adding, "And I created three other differently decorated bedrooms up here, all with large en suite bathrooms, so we aren't stuck with just this one."

"Impressive," Jade said, rattling her still ice filled glass before walking over to the bar and refilling it with vodka. Neither girl were concerned that Jade's ice hadn't melted during their sexual exploits and long nap afterward. They just considered it a normal movie/TV break in continuity, like a cigarette that's completely burned down to the butt in one scene then only half finished in the next.

Tori placed the bottle of Whisky back in its normal place on the shelf and watched as it magically refilled before asking, "So, what do you wanna do today? Personally, I feel like either skydiving or bungee jumping."

"Why not both?" Jade suggested as she set her glass down on the counter and noticed it immediately became empty and clean. "We can bungee out of an airplane, then cut ourselves loose and skydive the rest of the way."

"Yeah, yeah," Tori nodded in agreement as the two headed downstairs. "But just to make it interesting, we could carry our parachutes and put them on after we lose the bungee cord."

"If you wanna do it that way," Jade sniped as she swiftly typed something in to her computer, "why not just bungee out of the plane without a parachute? Your way, you could accidentally drop the chute when the cord snaps taut and you'd have to either lose the bungee and crash to the ground or get dragged by the plane when it lands, 'cause the bungee would have to be attached to the rear landing wheel or something back there so it wouldn't get tangled up in the propeller."

As the two teens exited the house and immediately found themselves at a rural airport, Tori said, "So basically you're suggesting we jump out of a plane without a parachute and plunge to our deaths."

Jade wickedly grinned as they stepped into the rear of a small prop plane and took to the skies, answering, "Basically... Except the falling to our death thing since we can't die or get injured."

"Oh that's right. I forgot."

As they gained altitude, Jade and Tori decided to try it first wearing the chutes while bungee jumping, just so they could experience the parachuting part of the jump. The next time up they bungeed without the chutes, letting them experience a naked free fall before violently impacting with the hard earth. (And both leaving a very deep, human body-shaped crater from the impact that magically disappeared as they walked away.) Finally, they tried a few different ways of crashing after the free fall: Landing on their feet, their heads, their backs, crashing through trees before hitting the ground, et. al.. Every time they mercilessly crashed to the ground, they'd immediately stand up, brush themselves off and head back to meet the plane.

For the last jump, the two teens bungeed out of the plane then hung there while the craft landed letting it drag them along the entire length of the runway before it came to a halt.

After starting to walk away from what they'd decided to be their last time up, Tori noticed the the wide open tarmac they'd been walking on had suddenly become a fairly narrow street with very old, two or three story building on either side of the unpaved street. She turned to Jade and tentatively asked, "Um, where are we?"

The Goth girl glanced up the street where a loud cheer had just arose, as she answered, "Pamplona."

"Pamplona? I don't think I know where..." Tori started to question before the name rang a bell. "Wait a minute. Do you mean Pamplona _Spain?_ As in the town where the annual running of the bulls takes place?"

Jade didn't have time to answer as a huge crowd of people dressed in white pants, long sleeve white shirts with red sash belts around their waists and red handkerchiefs tied around their necks came running past them in a big hurry. All the two girls could do to avoid the mass of people was plaster themselves against one of the rough brick walls, hoping that no one would crush their bare feet in the mad dash. Luckily the two teens were able to avoid the initial stampede.

Unfortunately, they couldn't avoid the second rush of bodies which consisted of a dozen or more very large snorting animals coming directly at them. Tori was immediately tossed straight up into the air as one of the bulls butted her in the butt, before continuing its mad dash for the rest of the crowd. As soon as she unceremoniously crashed back to the hard earthen street, Tori rolled as quickly as she could to wall and cowered in a ball, making herself as small of a target as she could. Luckily it worked and wasn't bothered by any more animals.

Jade on the other hand, stood her ground with arms defiantly crossed and stared down a charging bull. The large animal skidded to a stop, violently shook its head and let out a loud snort as if trying to understand the thing in front of it. The standoff lasted for a whole fifteen seconds, each simply staring at the other, before the bull let out with a bellowing roar and trotted around the girl looking for another person to run over or gore.

The Goth walked over to Tori and helped her to her feet before asking, "What do you wanna do next?"

Not answering the question, Tori incredulously blurted out, "You just faced off with a rampaging bull. Why... what... _how_ did you to do that?"

Jade nonchalantly shrugged and said, "Everybody knows that bulls are colorblind and actually are attracted to and attack things that move a lot, so the capes used in bull fighting are mainly just to anger and make the bulls charge. It doesn't matter that the capes are _red,_ just that they're waved in front of the bulls. I just stood still and the bull let me be. Now, what do you wanna do next?"

Tori evilly smiled as she finally answered, "As long as we're in Spain, I've always wondered what it would be like to participate in the Tomatino fight. I read on the net that it happens in the town of Buñol on the last Wednesday of August, so I wrote up a little scenario on my PearBook yesterday."

"Sounds like fun," Jade said as she threw her arm around Tori's naked shoulder and began to walk them down the street, "especially since we're naked."

As they turned a corner, they found themselves on another crowded Spanish street next to a huge truck piled high with the red fruit. (And yes, tomatoes are technically classified as a fruit, _not_ a vegetable.) This time everyone was dressed normally and stood with their arms laden with red ripe tomatoes. Jade and Tori quickly armed themselves and waited for the starter's gun to sound.

They didn't have to wait for very long. For almost an hour after the pistol fired, red orbs flew through the air splattering everyone, including the two naked girls standing in the middle of the pandemonium.

Tori simply had a lot of fun being pelted by tomatoes and returning fire whenever she got the chance. (Standing there completely naked certainly make her a huge target, especially for the male participants.)

Jade on the other hand, got a little riled up when she got singled out by a few men and returned fire while aiming at a specific part of their anatomy, where their legs met their torsos. (And not squeezing the tomato first to break the outer skin so the impact wouldn't be so hard, like they were supposed to do according the rules for the event.)

When the final gun fired, both girls were covered from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes with a red viscous mess, but found being hosed to be off quite refreshing and stimulating.

As they walked away down the street, they suddenly became dried off and their hair was back to its normally excellent coif. As they turned the corner, they found themselves on the tarmac of a military airbase. Tori turned to Jade and sarcastically questioned, "So I take it you were able to write us a script where we bomb a children's orphanage or something equally innocent?"

"Nah," Jade waived off the saucy comment as they approached two F-16 fighter jets already armed to the teeth and ready to take off as soon as they were secured in the cockpit, "nothing so mundane. No, I thought it'd be fun if we were attached to the squadron that attacked Godzilla in the movies."

Tori finally looked over at the jets and noticed that they had Japanese markings instead of American Air Force markings. She nervously gulped and said, "Oh, okay but... don't all of those jets get blown out of the sky by Godzilla?"

"Not all of them," Jade countered. "But even if we do get blown up, I figure we'll probably end up back here at the base, ready to get into another fighter."

Tori only thought for a moment before she perked up and said, "Hey-yeah, I think you're right. We'll either get sent back here or maybe show up back at my house since we can't die. Let's find out."

The two teens snuggled into the pilot's seat, forgoing the pressurized flight suits, helmets, goggles and parachutes. (But they still strapped themselves in with the harness system so they wouldn't get tossed around by any tricky air maneuvers.) They swiftly launched and soon were flying in formation along side three other jets with Jade on Tori's right wing. As they flew toward their target, the two girls chatted over the radio.

Just as they were starting their attack on the huge bellowing creature, and Jade was saying something about how she was loving every minute of it, the radio went silent. Tori glanced over to her right and didn't see Jade's plane where it should be.

Knowing her friend would be okay, Tori yelled, "Bonsai Tree!" and fired her missiles.

(Okay. Does anybody know why the attack phrase 'bonsai' is used? The word means potted plant! [and yes, I did look it up and know that it's actually spelled 'banzai', and means '10,000 years of long life'.])

Xxxxxx

Tori walked into her house and noticed Jade nakedly sitting on the red couch, drinking a cup of coffee. She asked, "What happened to you? You just suddenly disappeared."

"I guess they needed me as a guest star on Cat's show." Jade set her mug down and continued, "I suddenly showed up, fully dressed, outside of Cat's apartment were we were supposed to work on a school project for Sikowitz, but I ended up becoming friends with Sam. Well, Cat got jealous of Sam and my friendship and got Sam's ex-boyfriend, Freddie, to come down to make Sam jealous. Then Sam and I invited Robbie over to make Cat all jealous. Meanwhile, a friend of theirs by the name of Dice, a kid with great looking hair, showed up and Sam was supposed to jump over a tank of killer Kansas Razorback Tuna to make some money to pay off the storage fees or something."

"Wait," Tori interrupted as she sat down on the other sofa. "Did you say _killer_ tuna? Why not just sell 'em to make the up the costs?"

Jade lightly laughed, shrugged and answered, "Yeah, killer tuna. They're supposed to taste terrible and no one would buy them. So instead of just dumping them back in the ocean, they were going to sell a lotta ticket to the jump to cover everything.

"Anyway, Cat and Sam were mad at each other for hanging out with someone else but Cat didn't want Sam to get hurt, so she locked Sam in the closet and rode off to make the jump herself."

"Cat, on a motorcycle?" Tori full-out laughed. "I would have loved to see that."

"Yeah, it was hilarious," Jade laughed along. "Anyway, Cat crashed, Robbie and Freddie fell into the tank and got chewed up a bit and ended up in the hospital. That's all I know."

"Well, it sounds like you had a good time."

"I did," Jade chuckled before she sobered up. "But it felt really strange wearing clothes and being my old nasty self again."

The Goth girl quickly changed the subject and casually queried, "So how did the battle with Godzilla go?"

"Oh, about as expected," Tori groaned in defeat. "I got blown to smithereens twice by Godzilla's heat breath, got swatted out of the sky once when I flew too close to him, and the last time I pulled a kamikaze and crashed into his chest." The svelte teen smirked, "None of my missiles were effective, not even the one you designed."

"You fired off my scissor missile?" Jade asked in astonishment.

Tori answered, "Yeah. One of the last missiles I fired off was just a bunch of scissors. They simply bounced off him like he was made of titanium or something. He didn't even get scratched."

"What happened when you were blown up or taken out?" Jade curiously questioned.

"Oh, I always found myself in another jet flying towards Godzilla, except the last time. When I crashed into him and came to, I found myself outside the front door."

A comfortable silence fell over the two girls for a few minutes as they thought about all that had happened to them over the last few days. First they had discovered that they were only characters on a TV show that'd just been canceled and wouldn't age or change at all, no matter what happened to them, all while being totally naked. They reasoned, since they didn't remember sleeping or eating much, that bodily necessities weren't required. That meant that they could indulge in drinking, debauchery and any dangerous activity they could come up with and not suffer the consequences.

And indulge they did. Jade and Tori ran with the bulls in Spain, skydived without parachutes, raced both Grand Prix and dragsters to their heart's content and partied like depraved whores.

But they both knew that there was so much more that they could do. There was a whole world, a whole _universe_ to explore and experience.

Jade stood up and said, "Come on, Tori."

The svelte brunette arose from the couch and curiously asked, "What do you want to do now?"

Jade headed for the front door and said over her shoulder, "I thought it'd be fun to go on a little motorcycle ride."

Tori followed, but suspiciously begged, "We're not going to the race tracks again, are we?"

"Nah," Jade waived off the idea as she opened the door and turned to her friend. "I thought we'd go somewhere else and race... Like the length of the Great Wall of China."

Tori immediately perked up and enthused, "I always wanted to see the Great Wall. Let's go."

As they exited the house, they immediately found themselves at one end of the Great Wall. Waiting for them were two powerful looking motorcycles and over thirteen thousand miles of wide walls, ditches and other barriers that at one time defended the country from marauding hordes, but now was considered one of the modern man-made wonders of the world.

As the two ever-eternal teens hopped on to the bikes, Tori happily called out, "I hope they don't renew the show or need us ever again."

Jade fired up her machine and yelled back, "You got that right!"

Xxxxxx

 **Author's Final Note:** To quote Tony Beretta, "And that's the name of that tune." I guess that gives you a good idea of just how old I am if I'm quoting a TV cop show from the late 70's. LOL! But that just means that I've gotten this story out of my system and won't continue it. Yes, I could launch the two girls into outer space in a rocket only to have them end up back in the Vega house after being blown up on reentry, or go swimming with a gam of sharks, but I've grown bored with it. (A group of sharks is also called a school, pod, herd, college and shiver. There's your trivia lesson for today.)

I hope you've enjoyed this little brain fart of mine. Review if you want, but I'm not looking for any. I just do this to keep my mind from atrophying and my fingers from getting too arthritic.


End file.
